Adopt an Old People’s Home!
Fri, Nov 5th 2010
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Help, Help, Help! Anyone who is reading this – I want, and really need, you to help me motivate all schools in the UK, and then the world, to adopt an older people’s home! There, I have said it! Maybe now, this idea will stop beating around my brain and become a reality!
Let me explain. Many years ago, through the training I used to do for the local Social Services, I worked with managers and staff from older people’s homes. Occasionally, I also used to take in a theatre group of young, unemployed people to these day care/residential homes. But as my circle time model for schools grew, I grew away from this intergenerational work. Although when working with some of my accredited trainers on in-depth courses I would try and make it happen again. “New Player Managers” 1994 was a newspaper report about the work we were doing bringing older people into the playgrounds to teach games. “WI Gets In a Jam” was the silly title of a TES News Report about the circle session when I took a group of WI ladies into a local secondary circle time session. It was always achingly moving work – especially when the older people explained how anxious they felt in town when they saw a big group of young people coming towards them – and the young people explained that their loudness and ‘clowning’ was normal for them, not put on, and they wouldn’t have even noticed a frail person! But in future they would!
Sooo, the picture is growing!
One of my much respected consultants, Penny Vine, wrote a book called ‘Building Bridges’. It is all about how to run a series of golden hearted circle time sessions in a primary school for their local ‘silver friends’. Sean Duggan, a dynamic learning mentor, having attended an in-depth course with me, then went back and inspired eight secondary schools in Leeds to get involved, through circle time, with their local older people.
So now the background to my plea is sketched out for you!
My passion for this work has really been finely honed in the fires of difficulty flickering through this last decade – through my involvement with my mum. Her physical history, ten years ago, meant she lost a lot of her ability to do things for herself. So she plummeted into a world of inaction, fear, boredom and loss of self esteem. Of all her problems – feeling dependent on others and having nothing to give in return was the most painful. Who are you if you have no role to play? If everyone reflects back to you (the looking glass self esteem theory) that you are an irritating, demanding, time consuming chore (and, yes, even though I try not to, I know this message often speaks clearly in my eyes) … then what do you become – but what is reflected back to you. Self fulfilling prophecy.
So now the stage is set for the recent event that has catapulted me back into the world of pleading, lobbying and fund raising.
Last week I took five children and a fabulous, energetic male TA from a local primary school, Sarah Bentley, one of my consultants, plus 14 delegates from my reaccreditation course into a local, council run, day care/residential older people’s home. Nothing really prepares you for the reality of meeting scores of frail old people in one building. So many are immobile or needing help to move. So many are sleeping in a row of chairs like a waiting room. The heat, the smells, the sounds, and the sights are unique. I could almost feel an inertia hit me ….. but we swung into action! We heaved back all the dining tables and eventually, with the help of the care workers, formed a large circle of the old, the young and the middle aged.
Together we waved a multi coloured parachute with a huge ball on it to each other. The 100 year old lady did the best headers I have ever seen! We made a big soft seal fly into the rafters. The children skipped in the middle to the old chants. The only good thing about getting old is that although your short term memory is shot away, your long term memory comes back! In pairs we clapped out old rhymes and rhythms. We sang, squealed and giggled! Man – we rocked !! We sucked old-fashioned sweets, gob stoppers and bulls’ eyes, which brought all sorts of memories back and truly led to lovely gossipy chats!. At the end the young people went round shaking everyone’s hands and thanking them “for teaching me new things”, “for helping me”, “for giving me new ideas” … and “for getting me out of school !!!”.
The comments we had back from the residents were heart-renderingly wonderful! “I felt alive – for the first time for ages”. “Those children learned quickly”, “What fun”, “I didn’t know where I was when I started” … and then the most repeated in a soft, fragile voice: “When are you coming back?”.
The care workers, who had quietly left piles of their work, came out of the kitchen, the bedrooms and the bathrooms (they have a lot to do), gave up their time to watch. They were visibly moved. “Wow, it was fabulous fun”. “I have not seen a smile like that in years”. And so it went on.
Moved, humbled, inspired and tired we all went home. It had all been so simple – but so profound. READERS HELP! Every secondary and primary school could walk children with an enthusiastic member of staff to a willing care home once a week. I can provide (not written yet, but won't take long) a booklet of simple ideas for large intergenerational circles – and a simple training day for anyone wanting to adopt an older person’s home. I can reactivate our charity ‘All Round Success’ and beg, stamp and shout – but I need you to want it to happen too.
This initiative is PSHE IN ACTION. It is CITIZENSHIP IN ACTION. It is VALUES IN ACTION. It is THE BIG SOCIETY IN ACTION.
HEEELLLP!
PS We have now funded one of my consultants, Sarah, to go into this care home once a week with local children – but this is a drop in the ocean.
PPS I know lots of you go into these homes for harvest festivals and Christmas choirs, etc, BUT THIS IS DIFFERENT. It is interactive and we are tapping into the memories, songs and ideas of the older people themselves. They feel needed. We truly need them.
PPPS I am not a good enough daughter yet to take my mother with me!
PPPPS I thought maybe some of you might want to know about my daughter’s work which I am very proud about. My daughter Meg works with me and also freelances as an artist & photographer. She loves to work with my mother, Veronica, as her muse! They have worked together to capture the look and feel of my mother's generation through photography, this empowers my mum as Meg allowed the whole compostion to be directed by my Mum. (picture attached) I'm hoping Meg will join my project bringing her art into our work in older people's homes
You can also see Meg's documentary with my mother here http://megmosley.blip.tv/posts?view=archive&nsfw=dc
and you can see the new beginnings of Meg's portfolio 'the art of belonging' here: www.megmosley.co.uk
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