Do children ever become dependent upon external rewards?
Q: I really can see the benefits of organising special rewards and praise for children through your Circle-Time system, but my worry is that I'm sometimes creating a dependency on external rewards for good behaviour which doesn't really sit with my philosophy that people should be good to others for their own sake.
A: I agree with your philosophy but initially we have to act on our understanding of the psychology of low self-esteem. Many of these children have been let down by people and their responses and haven't received the attention they deserve or need. They are driven therefore to seek attention through negative means and often they have seen their parents or siblings resort to destructive behaviour in order to be noticed or listened to. The first task of a teacher is to break the pattern of these negative behaviours by setting up small targets of success that can be noticed by either the teacher or a child's classmates. Extensive rewards are initially 'flags of success'. As the child experiences pleasure in the these, his self-image improves and he begins to develop an inner sense of his own competence and ability to effect positive changes in his life. Consequently, he begins to like himself more and enjoy better relationships with others; they continue to reflect back to him his new, positive image. The need for the previous extrinsic ‘flag’ diminishes as the children’s own ability to appreciate themselves, and be appreciated by others for who they are, grows. Thus a child moves slowly from extrinsic to intrinsic rewards.
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