How can I cope when children bring up things like death or divorce during Circle Time?
Q: I panicked when one child talked about death and later at a different time another child brought up divorce.
A: These community issues - death, divorce, disability, family member in prison, horrific news bulletins - are inevitably going to surface within the safe framework of Circle Time. Don't be alarmed or embarrassed by these issues or this will be communicated to the children. As part of your own personal and professional development it is wise to read books or attend courses that can help you feel more confident in sensitive areas. There are national associations such as Cruse, Step Families and so on, all of which issue excellent guidelines and simple booklets on how to help children understand the major changes they are facing. Library headquarters also issue headings such as bereavement, divorce and so on listing particularly appropriate and sensitive books for children.
The main thing is not to duck the issue or panic. If something which sets your adrenalin going is raised unexpectedly, play for time. In other words, treat the comment with great respect, give a non-contentious general response and then be honest and say that you would like more time to think about it, but promise to include it in the agenda for the next circle session. (It helps children to see you write it down as it makes them feel safer regarding the fact that you do intend to treat it seriously.)
Very little damage can be done by an adult who is honest and does not claim to be an expert, but who, nevertheless, remains calm and responsive. Far more harm is done when a child is scared to talk about a concern. Always remind them about the alternative listening systems they can use and be comforted by the hundreds of children that write that they love Circle Time because they can share their feelings. In other words, Circle Time can prevent a child from feeling isolated, fearful and different from others as there is usually at least another child with a similar experience. In addition, you can tell them about the feelings that you have experienced, so they can see that it's not odd to feel that way.
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