How do community relationships outside of school affect school life?
Q: I find that in a small community sometimes the pressures and tensions outside of school impinge upon relationships in and amongst staff and pupils. Do you have any suggestions or answers to this?
Jenny: You are posing one of the most intransigent problems ever! I do a lot of team building for staff and quite often the personal & professional ‘wounds’ are almost impossible to help heal. Over the years I have worked in many situations where there are teachers who have their own problems at home they are powerless to change so therefore, sometimes unconsciously, exercise their power negatively within schools. I know this sounds strange but if people are disempowered somewhere in their life they will seize power back by trying to affect someone else’s life. There are some teachers who it suits to stay angry with people in school rather than face some of the hurt or pain they have in their own personal lives.
It is a hugely
complex issue and almost impossible to open up the problem to the pure chill
air of growth and change; as the persons involved are not able to admit the
truth to themselves. Many adults are in ‘outer locus of control’. They blame
everyone else eg ‘if only I had a different headteacher I’d be a new person, if
only the kids had more discipline at home I’d be able to teach so much more’,
therefore they don’t take responsibility for what actually is within their
control to change.
The purpose of
education is to help children develop inner locus of control; but I often think
that adults need this journey more than children.
So, what to do? Firstly you need to shore up your own self-esteem and see the
situation through a psychological lens – it’s a historical story and you should
not be taking any of it personally. Work very hard on a series of training days
with all the staff on the vision of a happy school. Deep down most teachers are
very good hearted and want the best for children. If you explore a million ways
to raise the self-esteem of children by creating systems that celebrate success
and achievement – it becomes clear to those members of staff that their own
discord may damage the vision. This
ultimately damages children’s happiness.
Get in a consultant,
not to work on ‘team building’, as this annoys people – but to create a
conference for the staff on a work/life balance. Many, many schools are introducing
their staff on stress management days to yoga, massage, Reiki, dance, art – a
series of workshops where people can relax, laugh, play and remember that there
is another side to each other when away from everyday pressures. Have an
African week. Bring in African bands – the rhythms, the colours and the
movement are irresistible – happy faces everywhere. Have a staff social
committee to organise a series of fun events – don’t judge the staff who don’t
want to come. Have fun with those that do want to come. Create a shared bond of
memories in a staff Golden Moments book. Decorate the school toilet – yesterday
I was in a school who had themed each of their toilets. There was a Chill Out,
a Summers Garden and a Cute & Cuddly – flowers, pictures, scent, humour and
sound made going to the loo a joy – and everyone was smiling. Have a staff
meeting once a term that focuses only on Staff Achievement; take them out to a
hotel for scones and jam and celebration. Have a golden board in the staff room
to display any thank you letters, achievements or scribbled notes of
appreciation. Don’t judge the staff who
don’t want to come. Have fun with those that do want to come. Create a shared
bond of memories in a staff Golden Moments book. Decorate the school toilet –
yesterday I was in a school who had themed each of their toilets. There was a
Chill Out, a Summers Garden and a Cute & Cuddly – flowers, pictures, scent
and humour, sound made going to the loo a joy – and everyone was smiling. Have
a staff meeting once a term that focuses only on Staff Achievement; take them
out to a hotel for scones and jam and celebration. Have a golden board in the
staff room to display any thank you letters, achievements or scribbled notes of
appreciation.
I am afraid I could go on and on … basically if there is too much discord it will affect the adult’s immune systems and lower children’s enjoyment of school. It is a horribly common problem so don’t lose sleep over it. I often give a very unkind image to head teachers. Sometimes, in certain staff rooms, I see an emotional ‘swamp’ where one or two key members of cynical staff are deeply embedded. Nearby there is a lovely colourful lush jungle with one or two light hearted members of staff frolicking around having fun with each other, and on the edge of the swamp there are a few members of staff who could either be pulled into the swamp or pulled over to frolic in the jungle. The temptation of the head is to try and get the ‘swampies’ out on to dry land; I tell heads not to bother as quite a few other head teachers have tried and been sucked into the murky grey mess already. Your efforts need to go to middle ‘plodders’ – create enough fun opportuinities for everyone so the ethos and vision of the school is about respect and fun…eventually the ‘swampies’ will have to make a choice as they will be in a minority. Either join in, leave or quietly get on with their job. (well that’s the hope).
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