What do I do about a group of Key Stage 2 girls with anti-social behaviour?
Q: In my school we have a range of strategies to encourage positive behaviour, thanks to your empowering and imaginative training and publications Jenny. We have a Friends Brigade, clubs every lunch time, the Mid Day Supervisors teaching playground games, a Friendship station, Gardening and Eco Club, a MDMS Special Lunchtime Award, Quiet Time in the library and most successful of all "peer massage" after each playtime. This is successful in all years apart from Year 5 with 11 girls and 24 boys. This group of girls takes up more time than all the rest of the girls in the school put together. They are subtle and expert at isolating individuals. They rotate who is "in" and who is "out". After intensive activity by staff with these girls they lull us into a false sense of security by appearing to be getting on well and then they launch a new offensive. The latest involves two parents who are co-ordinating their efforts against one child and complain in writing, by phone and in person about a range of trivial incidents in class and in the playground going back 3/4 years. This is extremely time consuming. Any suggestions about how to deal with this?
Jenny: Thank you for your positive comment. Certainly, from all you describe, you and your staff are working incredibly hard to establish a very positive and valuing ethos. I think lots of teachers will identify completely with the problem that you outline in your second paragraph. The group of girls you describe seem to operate throughout the country!! It would help me to know if their class teacher feels sufficiently confident to run well-structured and effective circle times. Circle Time helps act as a review body for whatever strategies or policies the class has decided to put into place. So, for example, if a strategy was put into place that the girls were going to play well together, step 4 of Circle Time would involve the pupils in nominating each other for sustaining the improvement. Consequently, different pupils could be nominated for exhibiting various qualities of friendship. For example, the teacher could ask the question "Who are you pleased with because they have managed to stay friendly without breaking up with anyone?" "Who are you pleased with because they only say positive things about people and they never say unkind things behind people's backs?" "Who are you pleased with because they have introduced new games?". In this way it might just be possible to keep an eye on the emotional pulse of the class. You would know from who they did not nominate how the dynamics were developing. You would know from who did get nominated, and by whom, how friendships were developing. Don't forget that before a teacher asks a question, she prefaces it with "Remember - you can only nominate people who are not your best friend as they already know that you appreciate them".
If 'offering friendship' to the whole class becomes the defining ethos, they will work harder towards it. The bigger issue is the fact that parents are getting involved. Quite often children's relationships reflect the state of relationships amongst the parents. I don't know how much proactive work you have done with parents. There are several types of proactive activities a school has to engage in to defuse the possibility of this type of parental behaviour. When is the last time they received a parent booklet explaining how the positive behaviour policy works? In that booklet there should be a paragraph on how parents need to behave positively towards each other and the school. It's always best to strike while the iron is cold. If this type of work has gone on beforehand, it acts as a document that you can refer with parents. Its important to explain that there is a Circle Time suggestion box where children themselves can post anonymously incidents that worry them. Explain that you are teaching children to take responsibility for their actions and responses, and therefore you would only expect parents to get in touch about issues that were serious. At this point in the booklet you describe the behaviours. I think you need to be very firm. Plan, do, review. Invite the parents in, plan the strategy, give it time to work and set a review date with them that actually suits you. You need to train them to use your diary and not to grab time whenever they feel like it. Again, this procedure needs to go into a parent booklet, maybe under a title "Showing respect to each other".
It may be possible that this is a situation you have inherited and it is very hard to be clear about your boundaries if parents are used to being immediately responded to. It’s a very complex issue. Sometimes being assertive can be very helpful. Maybe its time for a parents’ evening on self-esteem and how it affects a child's life. I often mention how damaging it is for children who are labelled by teachers or parents. If I can give a presentation on the psychology of self-esteem without pointing the finger at the individuals who are damaging other people's self-esteem, somehow it can resonate within them. They feel uncomfortable, especially if I quote research and sometimes they will gently back off. Good luck with this, there are no quick fixes for this one.
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