Jenny Mosley on education and spirituality - Findhorn series article 4 - Learning from children
As I have said in my previous articles – it is a huge privilege to work or play with children! Do you remember, at school, coming across an over-used line from the ever-sentimental Wordsworth about children … “…trailing clouds of glory”? I never really understood it … it used to make me think of fat little cherubs sitting pinkly on white clouds!
None of it! I now, through my long experience of working with children, truly understand what the great man was saying. Grubby, snotty, ear-ringed, spiky-haired, children are still trailing clouds of glory today!!! Children have qualities of honesty, forgiveness, kindness and wisdom which, if given the right sunny emotionally safe forum, will glint and gleam strongly at anyone who cares to notice. However, this vein of gold running throughout children can be dimmed, over a period of time if too many bickering, critical, dominating adults caste their cold shadows across it.
I, and thousands of other warm, enthusiastic teachers across the country, run circles for children. It is a very humbling experience, not only do the children forgive the child who has called them names, ruined their games, pushed them out of the line or hidden their precious possessions … they go one amazing step further … they help them. Take this true scenario. A very troubled child shuffled in his seat, looked down at the floor then, occasionally glancing up through hooded eye,s he muttered quietly;
“I’d like some help ‘cause I lose my temper too quickly”.
Up go their hands to offer help. He points at different people to give him ideas.
“Would it help if you counted to 10 before you lashed out?”.
“No, I can’t get past 3, but thanks”.
“Would it help if you walked away from the ones that annoyed you?”.
“No, ‘cause they keep coming after me!”.
“Would it help if you told the teacher?”.
“No, I have tried to tell her, but she keeps telling me to ignore it and I can’t”.
As I listened carefully I could see him batting away at all their offers. As useful as they were, they would have put more pressure on him to make changes. He had lost faith in himself, he believed he was bad. His hunched shoulders, under his thin top, spoke of the untold burdens he was already carrying. Looking around, I realised we would have to go on to another level of support – when children dig even deeper into their reserves of kindness and offer to do something themselves to help the situation.
“Has anyone here got a ‘would it help if I’ …”, I asked.
A few silent, motionless seconds descended on the brave little circle, and then, suddenly, a hand was raised. Looking directly into the eyes of the child concerned he asked;
“Would it help if I stopped calling you names?”.
Electric silence. He sat up wide-eyed;
“Yea, that would help a lot, thanks”.
And so the first stages of an important strategy began …
Together, with goodwill and with a vision of what a happy class team would look like; tiny achievable, tickable targets will be agreed upon and rewarded by the whole class. They will sign class certificates to each other and continue to ask, through the circle, what other ways they can support each other socially and emotionally.
But children don’t just offer this energy and goodwill to their own kind! They also know that adults need a supportive hand. This next scenario again highlights their generosity of spirit.
A tired teacher whose turn it was to ask for help in circle time looked around at her circle of 5 and 6 year olds and said;
“I need some help because I get very cross and bad-tempered in the afternoon”.
Nodding knowingly many children put their hands up to help her …
“Would it help if you let us know when this horrible mood comes upon you?”, asked one child.
Listening carefully to what her classmate suggested a little girl put her hand up.
“Miss, would it help if you had a special hat?”, if you put the hat on we would all know”.
When I went back later to the class I saw the teacher had a wonderful big silly hat hanging on a peg. She explained that whenever she was becoming too bad-tempered she would put the hat on and the class knew then that they must not speak to her. Watching them tip-toe around made her laugh and she was able to hang up her bad mood with a flourish.
You see, those clouds of glory are not just about children’s generosity of spirit, but they are also filled with the sound of chuckles. Children laugh a lot, they make jokes a lot, they love seeing people smile, they bring us very close to seeing the joy we were always meant to know
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